In this article
  1. First identify what the conflict concerns
  2. Choose an aim you can discuss
  3. Prepare for a businesslike discussion
  4. Mediation needs clear ground rules
  5. Keep health symptoms and work distinct
  6. Suspension and pay need separate checks
  7. Dismissal is not inevitable
  8. Example: a conflict about availability

First identify what the conflict concerns

Distinguish a substantive disagreement, unwanted conduct, an employment condition and a medical limitation. Contract and cao collective agreement matter for a scheduling dispute; threats or discrimination also involve safety. Write down the three events that show the problem most clearly. Record dates, people involved and consequences for your work. Do not diagnose the other person. An orderly factual account clarifies the solution and expertise needed.

Choose an aim you can discuss

“I want normal treatment” is understandable but hard to implement without specifics. Translate it into behaviour: one contact person, no messages outside agreed times, changed duties or a jointly established schedule. Determine what is needed to continue working safely and which points are negotiable. If you prefer to leave, do not yet express that as unconditional resignation. First investigating the suitable route prevents giving up pay or benefit rights under pressure.

Prepare for a businesslike discussion

Ask for an agenda and state which topics you want to discuss. Enquire whether someone may accompany you and what their role would be. Use a few verifiable examples instead of a long list of character judgments. At the end ask who will do what, by when and how progress will be evaluated. Send a brief summary with room for corrections. Your own record does not automatically prove every detail, but does establish what you understood.

Mediation needs clear ground rules

An independent mediator helps the parties explore their own arrangements and normally does not give a binding ruling on who is right. Discuss voluntariness, confidentiality, costs and purpose beforehand. Ask which documents may or may not be used outside mediation. Check each final agreement separately, especially if termination is involved. Mediation is not an automatic pause button for dismissal proceedings, pay measures or statutory court deadlines; separate arrangements and assessment are needed.

Keep health symptoms and work distinct

Stress or sleep difficulties may justify consulting the occupational physician. Whether illness prevents you doing your work requires medical assessment; an employer or mediator does not decide your diagnosis. Explain which duties or contacts trigger symptoms and which adjustments you need. Continue reasonable reintegration arrangements where possible. For a concrete dispute about capacity or suitable work, consider a second opinion or UWV expert opinion.

Suspension and pay need separate checks

If suspended or released from duties, request written confirmation of the reason, duration, availability and salary. An employer cannot simply make salary disappear by sending you home. Respond to inaccurate allegations and make clear that you remain available for suitable arrangements. Do not casually work elsewhere while your continuing obligations are unclear. If loss of pay threatens, promptly determine whether a wage claim or urgent proceedings are needed. Financial pressure can otherwise quietly steer negotiations.

Dismissal is not inevitable

Termination can be sought for a serious and lasting breakdown in the relationship, but the facts and repair efforts matter. An employer may also offer a settlement agreement. Compare its end date, notice period, compensation, legal costs and final discharge. If you want to stay, document your willingness to consider reasonable solutions. One party calling the conflict unsolvable is not itself a legal assessment. Have a specific proposal examined before making a final choice. If the subdistrict court summons you, continuing negotiations alone is insufficient. Rechtspraak says a written defence must reach both court and employer at least five days before the hearing; also check your summons instructions.

Example: a conflict about availability

Your manager expects a response every evening while your contract specifies fixed daytime hours. The disagreement becomes an allegation that you lack motivation. Collect the arrangements and some messages, request a discussion of necessary availability and propose fixed escalation times. Record which urgent situations are exceptions. If a warning follows, respond by reference to the concrete arrangement made. The aim is to improve evidence and workability together, without immediately turning every incident into a dismissal discussion.

Practical checklist

  • Prepare a timeline with documents and missing arrangements.
  • Determine your aim: safe continued work, restored contact or investigated departure.
  • Request written arrangements about work, pay and discussions.
  • Have medical, financial and court questions assessed separately.
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Practical guidance

Frequently asked questions

Must I continue working during a conflict?

A conflict does not automatically remove work obligations. Illness or danger may require other steps. Obtain specific advice before deciding to stay home.

Must I agree to mediation?

Discuss seriously why mediation is or is not suitable and which conditions are needed. An unexplained refusal may count in a later assessment.

Can I report sick because of an argument?

Report health symptoms according to the procedure and have capacity medically assessed. The existence of an argument alone does not determine incapacity.

May I record a meeting?

Permissibility, use and consequences require a specific assessment. A shared record or accompanying supporter can often provide substantial clarity already.

Sources (3)

Sources and editorial notes

The sources used for this page are listed below. Open the original publication for the full rules and context.

Sources current as of:

The source publications are in Dutch. All language editions cover Dutch law.

General information. Not a substitute for personal legal advice. This language edition contains draft translations based on official Dutch sources. Independent final legal review and native-language editing have not yet been recorded.

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This language edition contains draft translations based on official Dutch sources. Independent final legal review and native-language editing have not yet been recorded.

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